NASA NOW PLANS TO FARM FISH IN SPACE

UH OH WE FORGOT ABOUT GAMMA RAYS! LOOKS LIKE WE NEED A BIGGER BOAT!

By C. Kent, reporter, World Daily Planet News, Metropolis

On the heels of a depressing report on the high mercury content in our nation’s streams and rivers and the fish living in those streams, the AMABO has ordered NASA to take up a new and more ambitious project in addition to blowing up the earth’s moon (see NASA LAUNCHES ROCKET TO BLOW UP THE MOON). NASA is now taking up fish farming in space! Inside the next shuttle launch will be hundreds of fish tanks filled with babies of all species of fish. When the shuttle reaches earth orbit, the tanks will be released and tethered to the space station. The occupants of the space station will be responsible for feeding the fish and cleaning the tanks. The shuttle crew will be responsible for harvesting the catch and bringing it back to earth for processing. The harvest will be featured on next season’s The Deadliest Catch.

Hi there! Zero Gravity Is Fun!

On another note, people of color should refrain from eating contaminated fish from earth especially white sea bass as they could suffer the same fate as Michael Jackson as he consumed tons of this fish and ultimately turned into a white woman and then died due to the fact that the compact fluorescent in his head blew up.  And now his brain is being studied by the U.S. Fish and Game Department. Welfare recipients around the nation are being denied benefits because they have turned white overnight because they ate too much government canned tuna. We are currently investigating the effects of government cheese and will report our findings.

Oh look some bail out money!

Also due to the increased lethal levels in our nation’s fish, the AMABO has now ordered every manufacturer of light bulbs to use fish inside instead of compact fluorescent powder so that when the bulb dies you can eat it or donate it to a shelter under AMABO’S Feed American Program.

Oh Yeah! This should be easy!

NASA LAUNCHES ROCKET TO BLOW UP THE MOON

By IAN AL Simers 🙂

You read the headline correctly! NASA, our fantabulous space department, has launched a rocket and plans on blowing a hole in the moon! Read all about it here.  With all our country’s current financial difficulties WHO THE HELL APPROVED THIS MISSION? WHAT ARE THESE ‘SCIENTISTS’ THINKING? Supposedly this ‘explosion’ on the moon is to help NASA figure out if there is WATER ON THE MOON! All I can say is, you NASA people must get really good drugs on your salaries because your brains are now MUSHY-MUSH!

 

OBAMA Controversy ended!

OBAMA born in Barafrica as reported by the World Daily Planet News in Metropolis by C. Kent.

Reporter Kent just landed with this ground breaking revelation.  He discovered speaking to the Muleatto tribe  from southeast Barafrica who raised him after his mother, A. Jackal, died after giving birth under the briar thorns.

Since he was born in Africa/Hawaii/Indonesia experts at National Geographic used NASA shuttle and Hubble space photos to determine the boundaries of this new land known as: Barafrica.  As seen from space, the area resembles a set of MONSTER truck nuts.