Posts Tagged ‘hollywood’

MY MENTAL RANDOM THOUGHTS FOR TODAY

May 5, 2016

By Jim Roon, seasoned-reporter-on-the-edge, May 5, 2016  Son Los Cinco!

A SpinningCarousel

That’s the way I interpret the world. The media fills your head with hopeful things. I’m so busy, my head is spinning, all the notes and work they pile up on me.  Arsenio Hall was Prince’s drug dealer-they are still clinging on to that story? Arsenio Hall is suing now.  All the guests got drugs when they came out on his talk show; I saw this.  Why don’t they just put a bullet in his head? Are they still on the air? They film a lot of sh*t, they filmed it all there, right? It was pretty amazing that they created all that in a studio. He had little monkeys working for him. The Chinese are buying Hollywood theaters and they now want to buy the studios.  I hear sirens. I don’t think he cares, I don’t think the nickel and dime stuff really matters to him.

DidYouKnowObamaCare

You should always have a reptile in your camp and a skin-walker too. I like fish sticks, I’m moving to San Francisco to the streets. They showed the little animation and the center of it needs to slip, that would be the epicenter. Let’s say you had a car wreck, a fender bender by Geico, or the new movie Gender Bender; it’s about a guy going around bumping you in the rear.

GeicoHitNRun

They shut my water off today and I forgot to save some water buckets to flush my toilet. So I just let the sh*t pile up in my toilet and I’ll use my cane to stuff the sh*t down when they turn my water back on. You have to be prepared when they shut off your electricity to climb the pole and turn it back on. I’ve done this many times. That was nothing to me.

IceCreamFudgeChunks

I like ice cream. Fudgepacker New York Bend-Over Double Fudge. It’s better than rocky road because it doesn’t have marshmallows that are total HFC’s. But this one has white hard chocolate, walnuts and almonds in it. It don’t have no f****n peanuts in it. It was a bit unusual. I add red onion, celery, good ground up parsley, mustard, vinegar, mayonnaise, salt, paprika, pepper and finally lots and lots of hard boiled eggs. Compared to others I would say it would definitely to my preference is the best, better than any store. Oh and I put some dill relish in it. Guess what is in sweet relish, guess what’s in it ? High f*****g fructose corn syrup! So I put it back on the shelf. They have to put that everywhere! They want the Jews dead, hell the Nazi’s got that started. You should listen to that guy, just to hear about the globalists and the GMOs that they want and he went over everything. He actually talked to Ted Cruz and Ted Cruz is a globalist! He was talking about how important some trades issues; and that is a one-on-one conversation with these people and then they are blabbing. You go to China or Mexico and try to buy property, good luck! Anyone can buy here; the Chinese are buying it like crazy! Anchor babies are everywhere! Chinese pregnant women dropping babies here.

Antenna_photo

Oh it’s raining and I saw some lightning! I always like some lightning. Oh lightning just happened; boomed, there it went.  Glad my antenna isn’t grounded. I hope it rains a lot.

RottenApple

I’m pissed at Apple. They didn’t allow the mayor of Cupertino onto their campus. Apple isn’t paying for any of their infrastructure, the city is. Apple will never move into that stupid space ship; they are a Chinese company now. China is gonna screw them such big time. The butt-f*cker thinks he owns stock but if it goes to China, China will just take it all away.  I’d love to see the Apple security guards against real police officers.  Apple is all rotted and decayed since Steve died; Apple doesn’t pay taxes at all. Wait til they find out what Google is doing to them; that floating piece of sh*t. I think we should declare war on all corporations, they are the ones who have destroyed our country. Hilary she’s all about cashing in; can you imagine what she looks like without makeup? I have a peanut butter jelly sandwich on me. Goodbye.

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Editors note:  Thanks Jim for another insightful rambling article. Really Jim, get some help!

IanALSimers, head honcho  🙂

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Predictions for 2013

December 22, 2012
The Amazing Jim Roon Predicts!

The Amazing Jim Roon Predicts!

by Jim Roon, contributing reporter and in-house Psychic

During the convergence of the galactic center and the alignment of the planets to the Mayan temple in the jungles of Central America, where I was stationed to witness this great event, I became psychic and can now see the past, present, and future beyond infinity. I really enjoyed the cuisine of mushrooms and cocoa leaves.

std_tampon

As Fashion Week draws near, I have uncovered a new trend for 2013. All men will now be encouraged to be Pussies. Men ! Fold your extra fat in the front. Women walk in front of men, men slink behind by the string of a woman’s tampon. This will become very popular in San Francisco, they will insert tampons in their rectums.
“Honey follow the string, use it for dental floss when you are done with dinner”. Floss as you tug. This idea was started with the Centi-Pad concept.

New currency will come into effect, Prep H to be used liberally when AMABO gives it to us in the ass. This came to me in a flash of pain while I was sitting on the pointed summit of one of the Mayan temples.

June 2013 Vatican City: the Pope releases over 7500 small boys who were kept in the basement and apologizes to the rest of the clergy for giving up their party favors.

altarboy

And you’ve always wondered what was below the Vatican!

Weather changes: Many storms, sometimes cold, sometimes warm. A tsunami 50 feet high will hit Greenland but nobody will notice. A large sheet of ice will form over the Bay of the Crooked Thumb and it will not recede until the rainbow with tinkerbell-fairy appear. Climate change will be proven true because of the many changes in temperature all over the world. There will be seasons Fall, Winter, Spring and Summer. These changes will require different types of clothing, which will fuel the slagging economy of Barafrica.

Al Gore will gut himself on live television in protest of the founding of the Internet Museum where he was overlooked as the ‘inventor of the internet’.

Barafrica will become a world recognized super power as the highly volatile IckyPooPoo volcano’s energy will be harnessed and used to threaten the rest of the globe. Barafrica will also become the number one vacation destination for tourism and the cruise ships will be full of people and deadly viruses.

There will be a blockbuster movie that will make over 100 million Barafricos; but will be banned because it offends the Great Leader and his message. Many movie star overdoses in the coming year. One particular movie starlet will choke to death on cat turds which will become the latest craze in the Hollywood crowd: feasting on other people’s cat’s litterboxes.

The cost of Grape Soda will drop to record levels; as the AMABO tries to appease the tribes of Barafrica to quell possible demonstrations and rioting over the new price increases in Cheesy Poofs. Barafrican lions will torture and eat stray tourists for their BBC (Barafrico Benefitoes Card) cards to fuel the lion’s new methamphetamine habit and hookers.

Gabe’s Cocks will e*x*p*a*n*d from raising cocks in a barn to offering beer, wine and spirits in a cozy atmosphere at the barn across the road. The regular Gabe’s Con-Cocktion (ground up chicks) will be the featured dish and the restaurant/bar will be named GFC (Gabe’s Fried Cocks). Take a bucket home for the family. It’s the popcorn bucket surprise! Surprise your significant other with GFC’s! GFC’s are ground up chicks that are dropped into 500 degree hot oil feathers and all to make those mouth-watering morsels. GMO certified chicks and oil. All natural GMO (Gabes Mommy’s Ok).

Once again, everyone will forget my birthday and I will be alone drinking my Kettelle Onay and playing my annual birthday game of russian roulette (deer hunter style–is there any other way!?).