Posts Tagged ‘hillbillies’

BARAFRICA BRACES FOR HURRICANE PFFFFFFT!

October 24, 2015

HURRICANE PFFFT! APPROACHES

BREAKING NEWS…..FOR IMMEDIATELY RELEASE

by Ben Carson, Lead Field Investigative Reporter and baby bwrain surgeon

Strong winds have been reported through the Craqu+e Valley in the Buttc-heek Mountain Range upwards of 200 mph.

CraqueRocks

Cracqu+e is the scientific name for the element found in the valley.

It has been beneficial to the working people of the Ass-Stink tibe in the town as they ingest it and have been tearing the town apart by disassembling their vehicles, equipment, appliances, electrical transfer stations, waste treatment plants, subway systems, and this has caused a boom to the as tribe as it is costing billions of barafricos to rebuild.

Images I was able to capture before the Ass-Stinks torched my rented RV!

RVmotorhomefire_thumb

Chief of Police, Sandy R. Ectum who assured me the culprits would be caught!

drugs-woman-4_1833998i1

Here’s a picture of the Mayor or Governor, who can tell after years of use they all look the same to me!

An elected official?

An elected official?

 

More examples of the industriousness of the Ass-Stinks!

                            StrippedCar                                        JunkBrownSedan

PileOfTrashedOldTVs

JunkedRefrigerator           BADCOPPERSIGN

 

 

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!

LATEST IMAGES OF HURRICANE PFFFT!

saturn-hurricane-cassini

The blood red eye is now headed straight for the capitol of Barafrica where the Amabo resides.

CrazyIndian cartoonThe above illustration shows Chief Dog Breaking Wind making preparations for the Amabo!

More to follow…… B. Carson

 

Thanks Ben, Good Work!

Ian AL Simers, head honcho

ANZEL ADDAMS . . . G*E*N*U*I*S?

July 25, 2010

Photo entitled 'Hangover Oak on a dewy morn'

by Salvacion Maria Dolly; pictures courtesy Melinda Ryan

I couldn’t be more sick and tired of all the to-do over this Anzel Addams.   History has been way too kind to this guy.   It’s time the whole sobering story was told.   Forget everything you ever have read about him.   Read these words now and you can believe them later.

Addams was a hopeless bum and drunkard.   Only someone with no responsibilities at all would have the time to sit in the forest and take pictures.   All you hear is that he was a genius with light and texture.   If you haven’t noticed, the forest is a beautiful place!   It doesn’t matter what time of day, you’ll get a great photo.

Now, this Addams fella was what we would nowadays call an indigent homeless, scum-sucking, fudge-packing, dirtbag .   He would hang around in state parks and rummage though the dumpsters and chemical toilets for discarded table scraps, partially digested food found near public restrooms and vomitoriums and soiled Depends, not unlike Yogi bear.  These things might be bear-proof but they aren’t Anzel proof! All the campers thought that a bear got into the cooler or picnic basket, when in reality it was Anzel. He even left some scat to cover his thefts. Oh, and of course any and all liquor/beer would be taken.

He had no problem with sleeping arrangements since he could get all the camping equipment he needed the same way he got the food.

Exclusive: Addams taking a 'nap'!

So all he did was hang out and take pictures.

Now here is the most revealing fact about him.   How he decided when it was the perfect time to take the picture.   You won’t believe this.   The bum was a hopeless drunk.   He would take a bottle of whatever hooch he heisted and head off to a hilltop or meadow.   He’d guzzle that hooch until he passed out.   The first thing he did when he came-to was to grab his bulb release and squeeze.

That’s it!!!

That’s how he decided when to take the perfect photo.

The one with the perfect light.

The one with the perfect composition.

The one with the perfect texture.

It was his private secret and he got the biggest kick out of how flatlanders thought he had some gift or something.

Well there it is.

Time to rewrite the history books.

Heck, if I had that much time I could do the same thing.

Sorry to burst the bubble but that’s the way I see it.

Family and friends made many many attempts to get Addams into rehab. None of them were successful.

Addams at his first rehab clinic.

His alcoholism and poor hygiene took it’s toll on him in the end.


One of his last self-portrait shots

Alcoholism is a very bad thing. Poor Anzel suffered greatly from being chewed on by the forest critters while he was passed out. WARNING GRAPHIC!!!!!

He suffered greatly for his 'art'

I personally have two photos in my collection of him. The first one was taken the morning after his gallery opening. He would often take the money he got for his ‘art’ and spend it on a night of bar-hopping in the homo district. He would always wake up in an alley with a headache and a bleeding rectum.

Another successful gallery opening!

This second picture is of my 5th cousin 3rd removed and Addams after about 60 shots. Addams won that competition. He isn’t looking at the camera because by that age  he was already legally blind from a lifetime of drinking cheap hooch!

Ah, good times, good times.


This Just In: MORE JIM ROON PREDICTIONS!

January 27, 2010

By Jim Roon AKA Randy

1-27-10

For immediate release.

I have been inundated with calls if this quake is the one http://www.infp.ro/ro/ .  Yes that is a large quake today in China (8.6), but the 9.6 is still coming.  I will be doing a channel today with all the plugins and expect to release the evacuation reports this weekend.  It is a good time to go skiing in the maountains with extra supplies.

So Long Stoopid Amerlikens!

Whee! My randing is cushioned by all bodies of dead Amelicans!

Energy release imminent.   Full rights given to distribute this release.

****************************************

Thanks Jim. I am already 5 steps ahead of you.
–Ian Al Simers, head honcho
🙂

BRING IN 2010 WITH LOADS OF LAUGHS

December 29, 2009

By Ian Al Simers, Head Honcho

Hi all, and look what I have found on You Tube! These videos are sure to make you laugh til you burst your guts wide open and they are all FOR REAL! The person featured in the video is truly special.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

December 18, 2009

By Ian Al Simers, head honcho

That’s right. That’s right. I said it and I say it! Merry Christmas everybody!

It has been one heck of a roller coaster year for our beleaguered country. 2009 is ending and 2010 is just around the corner. What will this new year hold in store for us? Will the tribes people of Barafrica ever be freed from the crushing rule of the AMABO? Will his offspring, Sheneequa and Mudflaps, rain terror upon the world? Will anyone buy Gabe’s cock? Will the drunkard animal lover in Williams find a new friend in reporter J. Rooney?

Answers to these and many more questions will have to wait as father time ticks down the hours and minutes to the final stroke of midnight and the new year will begin.

I think this photograph pretty well sums up my sentiments for this past year of 2009. Perhaps you feel the same.

SO LONG 2009!

THE WHITE HOUSE NEW PRESS RELEASE

July 14, 2009
amaboBBQsTheNation

Hey I think that one is done Master!

New photograph surfaces of the AMABO barbequeing  YOUR NUTS at the White House July 4th cook-out! If that doesn’t wake you up to the truth maybe these will!

More disturbing images are surfacing!

amabohitler

amabonazi

amabomarx

amabojebus

amabopisser


JUST RELEASED: NEW OBAMA PHOTOS

July 3, 2009

By C. Kent, reporter, World Daily Planet News, Metropolis

You just can’t beat the movie classics for showing off the ‘NOBAMA CHANGE’!

Bonnie & Clyde is now Berry & Shelly

Bonnie & Clyde is now Berry & Shelly

Treasure of the Sierra Madre is now Treasure of the Taxpayers

Treasure of the Sierra Madre is now Treasure of the Taxpayers

The Godfather is now The ObamaAlla

The Godfather is now The ObamaAlla

It's A Wonderful Life is now It's An Obama Living Hell

It's A Wonderful Life is now Life Is Hell Living Under Obama

Gone With The Wind is now Gone With The Obama-nation SATAN

Gone With The Wind is now Gone With The Obama-nation SATAN

The Wizard Of Oz is now The Satanic Obama Wizard Of Hell

The Wizard Of Oz is now The Satanic Obama Wizard Of Hell

Obama IS the Wicked Witch of the West!

Obama IS the Wicked Witch of the West!

You can find more stuff like this at www.iowntheworld.com! Check them out! The site is hilarious and RIGHT ON TARGET!

HI KIDS! I’M THE HANDI-DOUGHNUT MAN!

May 23, 2009

by J. Olsen, cub-reporter for the World Daily Planet News, Metropolis

FUDGE PACKERS UNITE! IT’S THE HANDI-DOUGHNUT MAN! What a physique! I just want to lick his smooth, silky, creamy hole until the ecstacy overwhelms me with shivers and breathlessness. Just one look at this photo and you’ll feel the same. He told me his name is DJ Rellas. But to me he is muy sauve and all macho.

COME LICK ME!

COME LICK ME!

FOR THE TWO-FACED AMABO!

May 16, 2009

CAUGHT THIS IN A BRIEF MOMENT WHEN HE COULD NOT HOLD HIS SHAPE!

TwoHeadedBaby_devilbaby

Aw, don't cry, it's just a 2nd degree burn!

If you abandon it BITCHES, they will come!

April 29, 2009
It's baack!

It's baack!

ooh what do we have in here?

ooh what do we have in here?

Aw, someone is interested in some treasure!

Aw, someone is interested in some treasure!

Uh oh, I think something has ahold of him!

Uh oh, I think something has ahold of him!

Yes, folks it IS true. If you abandon it they will come! This piece of crap was around a couple of months ago and it mysteriously disappeared after yours truly, IAN AL Simers, snapped a few photos (see story “just some neighborly fun“) of the junk pile. However, today it is back and it is attracting all the right people. But wait….only a few hours after this reporter took new pics, all the crap disappeared again. Possible cloaking device? You decide.

Here’s the location where this fabulous Ford El Ranchero/Torino really belongs:

This is it's real home!

This is it's real home!

Here’s another gem of a place! As B. Davis once said: WHAT A DUMP!

THE SIGN SAYS IT ALL!

THE SIGN SAYS IT ALL!

Just Some Neighborly Fun!

April 17, 2009
Oh What A Sight

Oh What A Sight

Don't You Just Love America?

Don't You Just Love America?

Just a couple of gems from the ‘hood!