Posts Tagged ‘GMO’

BREAKING NEWS! TRUMP SCRAPES OFF THE CATSHIT

May 4, 2016

By Jim Roon

Great news for Trump. The Catshit was scraped off his shoe only to be replaced by a witch.

Dark times are coming.

hillary-witch

Her black cat shitted on Trump’s shoe!

BlackCatTakingAShit

I received this video message on my iPhone today, most peculiar to say the least:

My random thoughts after watching the video:

I heard Bill & Hillary’s new group: ButtBumpers In Love.  Has sports illustrated gone porn? Go ahead sports illustrated, show that wiener! Does it go to 5th Avenue? Well that’s what they need to stop doing right now.  If it employs people in the media then it goes to their bottom line profit, it goes to the bankers and the politicians. But if it goes to the employees, not the corporations heads and if they don’t want to pay the cameraman 2 million dollars for doing the camera work then they don’t do it.  Are they going to hire anyone for that money?  I want people to work for their money, giving out welfare is not answer. Jellyfishes don’t fight back, she’s gonna wear him down so much that he’s going to feel guilty. Food theft is not a crime if you are hungry. Have a lot of GMO food around the house just for the thieves. Sugar will f**k up your car and give it diabetes.

 

 

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Predictions for 2013

December 22, 2012
The Amazing Jim Roon Predicts!

The Amazing Jim Roon Predicts!

by Jim Roon, contributing reporter and in-house Psychic

During the convergence of the galactic center and the alignment of the planets to the Mayan temple in the jungles of Central America, where I was stationed to witness this great event, I became psychic and can now see the past, present, and future beyond infinity. I really enjoyed the cuisine of mushrooms and cocoa leaves.

std_tampon

As Fashion Week draws near, I have uncovered a new trend for 2013. All men will now be encouraged to be Pussies. Men ! Fold your extra fat in the front. Women walk in front of men, men slink behind by the string of a woman’s tampon. This will become very popular in San Francisco, they will insert tampons in their rectums.
“Honey follow the string, use it for dental floss when you are done with dinner”. Floss as you tug. This idea was started with the Centi-Pad concept.

New currency will come into effect, Prep H to be used liberally when AMABO gives it to us in the ass. This came to me in a flash of pain while I was sitting on the pointed summit of one of the Mayan temples.

June 2013 Vatican City: the Pope releases over 7500 small boys who were kept in the basement and apologizes to the rest of the clergy for giving up their party favors.

altarboy

And you’ve always wondered what was below the Vatican!

Weather changes: Many storms, sometimes cold, sometimes warm. A tsunami 50 feet high will hit Greenland but nobody will notice. A large sheet of ice will form over the Bay of the Crooked Thumb and it will not recede until the rainbow with tinkerbell-fairy appear. Climate change will be proven true because of the many changes in temperature all over the world. There will be seasons Fall, Winter, Spring and Summer. These changes will require different types of clothing, which will fuel the slagging economy of Barafrica.

Al Gore will gut himself on live television in protest of the founding of the Internet Museum where he was overlooked as the ‘inventor of the internet’.

Barafrica will become a world recognized super power as the highly volatile IckyPooPoo volcano’s energy will be harnessed and used to threaten the rest of the globe. Barafrica will also become the number one vacation destination for tourism and the cruise ships will be full of people and deadly viruses.

There will be a blockbuster movie that will make over 100 million Barafricos; but will be banned because it offends the Great Leader and his message. Many movie star overdoses in the coming year. One particular movie starlet will choke to death on cat turds which will become the latest craze in the Hollywood crowd: feasting on other people’s cat’s litterboxes.

The cost of Grape Soda will drop to record levels; as the AMABO tries to appease the tribes of Barafrica to quell possible demonstrations and rioting over the new price increases in Cheesy Poofs. Barafrican lions will torture and eat stray tourists for their BBC (Barafrico Benefitoes Card) cards to fuel the lion’s new methamphetamine habit and hookers.

Gabe’s Cocks will e*x*p*a*n*d from raising cocks in a barn to offering beer, wine and spirits in a cozy atmosphere at the barn across the road. The regular Gabe’s Con-Cocktion (ground up chicks) will be the featured dish and the restaurant/bar will be named GFC (Gabe’s Fried Cocks). Take a bucket home for the family. It’s the popcorn bucket surprise! Surprise your significant other with GFC’s! GFC’s are ground up chicks that are dropped into 500 degree hot oil feathers and all to make those mouth-watering morsels. GMO certified chicks and oil. All natural GMO (Gabes Mommy’s Ok).

Once again, everyone will forget my birthday and I will be alone drinking my Kettelle Onay and playing my annual birthday game of russian roulette (deer hunter style–is there any other way!?).

2012 Year-In-Review

December 22, 2012
The One True Crystal Head vodka

The One True Crystal Head vodka

Commentary by Ian AL Simers, head honcho

Well December 21 came and went and I completed my Crystal Skull Vodka Ceremony while hovering over The Great AMABO’s Drinking Fountain (the Sacred Porcelain Bowl).

The senior council at the Barafrican Council has re-elected Chief Dog Breaking Wind as Supreme Commander of the Muleattoe Tribe. This caused a great unrest in the nation as the subservient AssStink tribe is getting restless as the Muleattoes are attempting to take away their bows and arrows claiming that the Muleattoes will keep them safe and protect and feed them.

Currently the AMABO is at the base of the sacred IckyPooPoo volcano as it oozes AMABO snot into the ocean. He is sacrificing the rights of the country into the molten mouth of the volcano.

We have received from confidential sources close to The Great Leader startling information about the spawn of the AMABO, Sheeneequa and Mudflaps (S & M), who are being bred with jackals in the hopes that one of the bitches will have a litter and we can witness another round of Gabe’s Cock Fights to determine who will take over the Trident Of Power in four years.

The AMABO has begun a community-based mind control program called Operation-MF.  The reporter below will give the directive to the targets. Listen carefully to what she is forced to say.

And this reporter talking to Canadians about the UN??

This is certainly the call to the wild for the Jackals to come in to the heat of the IckyPooPoo Volcano to drop spawn into the loins of The Great Leader’s bitches.

There will be many ceremonies during this dark time of The Spawn; such as the Muleattoe’s celebration upon hoisting their savior. They appear to need ‘Harvey’s Milk’?

I am looking forward to spending my New Year’s Eve with my reporters Jim Roon and J. Olsen.

GMO Food is Good For You

GMO Food is Good For You

We are planning to spend the next year underground in our bunker eating all this GMO food since the Mayans screwed us over, again.