Archive for January, 2010


January 27, 2010

By Jim Roon AKA Randy


For immediate release.

I have been inundated with calls if this quake is the one .  Yes that is a large quake today in China (8.6), but the 9.6 is still coming.  I will be doing a channel today with all the plugins and expect to release the evacuation reports this weekend.  It is a good time to go skiing in the maountains with extra supplies.

So Long Stoopid Amerlikens!

Whee! My randing is cushioned by all bodies of dead Amelicans!

Energy release imminent.   Full rights given to distribute this release.


Thanks Jim. I am already 5 steps ahead of you.
–Ian Al Simers, head honcho


W.T.S.H.T.F. – Breaking news for immediate release

January 25, 2010


When The Shit Hits The Fan!

By reporter Jim Roon aka Randy

10am Barafrican time;

Magnitude 9.6 earthquake!

The normally docile residents of Roontown in southern Barafrica are getting antsy.   Animals are fleeing to the safety of the nearby cruise ships.  The rumblings are low frequency S waves emanating a methane smell that is choking the air.  Several gerbils have been seen coated in feces, running towards the great Amabo statue located beneath the Ickypoopoo volcano.

The IckyPooPoo Volcano

The Great Statue of AMABO


Several land masses have become visible rising from the ocean floor, which will create an odd shape similar to a set of truck nuts. We reached Chief Breaking wind for comment.  He said “all is in our prophecy, soon the flying monkeys will be dropping feces upon all the barracks”, he went on to warn of the coming fistula to appear in the sky as a sign to take cover in the cotton fields.

All are warned to prepare with the government supplied Depends, grape soda, cheezy poofs and Bactine; and to prepare for the opening of the gate at Uranus.

More to follow with this breaking story.
Read the previous Barafrica stories:
Chief breaking wind has just released the tale of the torn fistula. “After the vision of the truck nuts I was told that the fistula will tear in the sky and bathe the land in a red rain” .   Shortly thereafter, an odd red rain began to fall and government officials recommended placing the government issued Depends over your head.   This prompted the locals to rebel against the government calling and chanting “shit heads”.  

more to follow….
Good work Jim Roon! I won’t be answering the phone anymore though.
–Ian Al Simers, truly depressed