Archive for October, 2009

ALL EVACUEES RETURN HOME TO WILLIAMS AZ

October 8, 2009

By Ian Al Simers

Hi folks. I stumbled upon this gem while perusing the internet. I have posted it for your amusement. I hope you don’t pee your pants laughing, unfortunately, I did. Enjoy! 🙂

Beautiful Downtown Williams

Beautiful Downtown Williams

On  Monday October 5 the evacuation order for the Twin fire (in the Kaibab National Forest) near Williams, Arizona was lifted, making it possible for 64 families (the entire population of greasy spot Williams) to return to their homes. Sunday’s strong winds were no match for the firefighters that kept the fire to the 1,000 that had already burned. Also they do not expect any additional growth of the fire, which is “10 to 15 percent contained”. The weeks weather is expected to be cooler and drier with slight winds.

Comments:

Janet says:

Gusty winds have been in the forecast for a week – so what group of criminally incompetent government morons used taxpayer money to set this?

be a man says:

I thought it was started by bulls balls saller

October 5, 6:41 PM

Tito says:

exactly Janet, you arent supposed to question the USFS even if their incompetent managers nearly burn 64 families out of their homes.

October 5, 8:08 PM

Nex Preeze says:

It was started by someone with a Williams PO Box 666!
It was Satan, to keep his children warm; the same Satan that runs our government now. Quick, everyone put on your tinfoil hats! Protect yourself from the evil digital airwaves and espresso! If you are small in stature and have many hemorrhoids, buy mini-donuts.

October 5, 11:49 PM

be a man says:

You don’t get it, the govt is systematically poisoning everyone. the fires are to cause fear in the mountain men, with their deer heads and tractors, made em run like little girls, but all are safe with the 666 man.

October 5, 11:54 PM

Nex Preeze says:

HEY! Didn’t anyone know that a prerequisite to USFS is to be a convicted arsonist?
Hey, Be A Man (Do you have balls?), what is best for my tinfoil hat? I use Reynolds Wrap but I was thinking of switching to the Wal-Mart brand. What kind do you use? I use Panda Tampons from Wal-mart for my hemorrhoids what do you use?

October 5, 11:58 PM

be a man says:

Well that wall mart chinee shit is bad for you. I use the store brand for my walls and ceiling, it saved me when the incompetent govt workers flushed the sewer lines outside my house and ejected 2 tons of shit all over the bathrooms and flowed out to the street. everything wiped down nicely because of the foil. it was full of fortune cookies!!! ahhhh

October 6, 12:04 AM

Nex Preeze says:

Hey, Be A Man, you aren’t talking about the fires no more. I think I will because I am farting fire from the jalapenos I ate earlier. It is sure good to be back in my double-wide after that big fire scare. All my neighbors came back too, including the FREAK that wears a donut costume ALL THE TIME just because he owns a coffee shop in town. He is always drunk and is a real creep. He doesn’t bathe either!

October 6, 12:09 AM

be a man says:

Well wilma i be givin’ a hoot you be back in your tin can crap hole. Oh and I prefer to cut my ‘roids

October 6, 12:10 AM

be a man says:

and you shut up about my takin a good cleanin! I bathe with the pregnant goat

October 6, 12:13 AM

Nex Preeze says:

Oh you are SICK! YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY ANIMALS! THEM ANIMALS IS FOR MY STORE!

I will prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law!

YOU FELON, GOAT-LOVIN’, STINKY BALL-SELLIN’ GAY PAROLEE!
COME TO Dara Thai Cafe WHERE THE MEAT IS ALWAYS FRESH!

October 6, 12:25 AM

be a man says:

hey wilma where you at? cant see you through my seeing glass no more. oh and I will send the offspring of my love child

October 6, 12:25 AM

Nex Preeze says:

I ain’t telling you! But I know where you at! But I will meet you tomorrow, back of your JD’s Espresso in the old motel parking lot and we’ll have a booger flickin’ contest and then we’ll really settle this like men! We’ll have an old fashioned farting contest and see how many donuts we can fire-fart through. Loser has to eat them or sell them whichever comes first!
ARE YOU UP TO THE CHALLENGE?

October 6, 12:30 AM

pearl says:

hey wilma that smoke all got up in my drapes, can I borrow your heffer to lick them clean

October 6, 12:31 AM

pearl says:

oh I forgot, I’ll need yer goat to eat the heffer turds

October 6, 12:32 AM

Wilma says:

No but I’ll send JD over to collect them. He smears them all over his body, says it keeps him alive.

October 6, 12:33 AM

pearl says:

oh yes I forgot, I love the chocolate chip donuts

October 6, 12:34 AM

Wilma says:

Thankfully our little piece of paradise in the ass-crack of the United States is once again a safe place for drunkards, biker gangs, tweakers and my neighbor JD’s beastiality exploits on the front lawn. Yes, we are home again. You can spot JD at our next rodeo, he’ll be the one riding the goat and hugging the sheep.

October 6, 12:40 AM

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