Archive for September, 2009

PRESIDENT OBAMA ADMITS HE IS A LIAR TO AMERICAN PEOPLE

September 15, 2009

By Reporter666

WASHINGTON, D.C.  In his nationally televised speech on Wednesday, September 9, 2009 (9-9-09; I think I see a relation to … 666! and how appropriate for AMABO to make a speech on such an EVIL day)  to the joint houses of the Senate and Representatives, the president openly admitted to telling a lie. He had just stated that illegal immigrants would not be eligible for his health care program and then his next statement was, “That is a lie” and then he coolly and calmly finished his speech.  Reactions of congress ranged from shocked disbelief to absolute agreement.


912-TeaParty-DC-09

The citizens, however,  were not surprised and were awakened from the spell that the AMABO had cast upon them. They organized themselves and marched on the capitol on September 12, 2009 to let their voices be heard.


Unfortunately, the AMABO was conveniently out of town that day addressing a coven in Minneapolis.

RedHoodMonkred_hood


Meanwhile, in the parking lot, a lot of vehicles sporting AMABO bumper stickers were found to have spawned a new one:


You_Lie

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WOMAN BEATEN TO DEATH BY WAL-MART EMPLOYEES AFTER BUYING AMERICAN MADE MICHAEL JACKSON’S THRILLER DVD POLICE REFUSE TO RESPOND

September 8, 2009
MJThriller

Which one of you ate my brain?

By Mouseé Tongue, cub-reporter, China Bureau, World Daily Planet News

http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5jUcqst3ZW9cVVaQV7XKG3y8SYSIg

In an unprecedented event, a woman who purchased the Thriller DVD of the late Michael Jackson was beaten to death and then eaten outside of a Wal-Mart by store employees. She tried to  phone for help, but her calls to police were ignored. The employees all received big bonuses for their patriotic work and support of the Chinese Communist Party Free Trade Policy plus one year’s supply of blood sausage and a voucher for a free kidney.

Wash Her Down With Johnny Walker Black!

Wash Her Down With Johnny Walker Black!

This comes on the heels of China announcing it’s foreclosure on the United States of America on September 20, 2009, when the Chinese Communist Flag will be raised at the AMABO white house. China’s new trade policy is: purchasing anything made in the USA is punishable by immediate death by any means available. However, after September 20, anything currently made in North America will be labeled Made In China. Also the United States of America will be hereby known as the United Slaves of China. Everyone get your Little Red Book! This is all according to the prophesy of Chinese Astrology.


CHINA TO RECEIVE OWNERSHIP OF USA AT FLAG CEREMONY SEPT 20 AT WHITE HOUSE

September 4, 2009
panda_slanteye

TRANSLATION: FORECLOSURE NOTICE!

THOSE SNEAKY CHINEEZE!

THOSE SNEAKY CHINEEZE!

NO NEED TO RSVP! THE AMABO WILL SPEAK FOR ALL!

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2009-07/13/content_8422505.htm

China’s national flag to go up in White House on Sept 20
By Hou Lei (chinadaily.com.cn)
Updated: 2009-07-13 16:45

china-flagThe national flag of the People’s Republic of China (PRC) will be hoisted at the South Lawn of the White House in Washington on September 20, media reported Sunday.

Chinese associations in the United States had applied to hold a ceremony in front of the US President’s residence to celebrate the 60th anniversary of the founding of PRC.

panda_gunChen Ronghua, chairman of Fujian Association of the United States, told reporters that their application was approved not only because of the sound Sino-US relations but also because China is a responsible country.

“Many Americans admire China due to the success of last year’s Beijing Olympics,” said Chen.

More than 1,000 people will attend the ceremony and the performances held after it, according to Zhao Luqun, who will direct the performances.panda_pistolpackin

Zhao said the performances will demonstrate the friendship, magnanimous spirit and kindness of modern Chinese people.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING ON A LIGHTER NOTE:

PANDA JOKE OF THE DAY

PANDA JOKE OF THE DAY

A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.

As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn’t pay for the food!”


The panda yells back, “Hey, man, I’m a panda. Look it up!”


The bartender opens his dictionary to panda: “A tree-climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring.

Eats shoots and leaves.”

HAVE A HAPPY SUPERLUCKY DAY!

superluckycatlrge

Spend $5 & Save A Cock!

September 2, 2009

by G. Santos, reporter World Daily Planet News

In light of the recent expose of the chicken industry where PETA discovered that chicken ranches were disposing of male chicks by dropping them alive into a grinder (http://apnews.myway.com/article/20090901/D9AEI2F01.html AP Exclusive: Video shows chicks ground up alive), a new kind of entrepreneur has emerged in the SF Bay area.

I have uncovered an ad on Craigslist that is offering a most unusual item. It is billed in SF as:

DELICIOUS GABE COCK

DELICIOUS GABE COCK

100% homo-genized gay chickens; never exposed to females (human or hen) or estrogen! The ultimate fudge packer aphrodisiac known for centuries in ancient China. Throw away the Viagra, eat Gabe’s Faggot Cocks! Raised 100% organically at the Los Banos YMCA.

YMCA-Barn

Save a chick, Eat Gabe’s Cock!

Gay Cock for only $5.  Endorsed by Peta, so you know you are saving these poor creatures from a horrible death!

Gabe’s Pet Cock for sale $5! Perfect gift for your boyfriend!

Why let a perfectly good cock go to waste? Keep it a week and watch it grow! Then eat Gabe’s cock!

I contacted Gabe and was told that my ‘package’ would be Fed-Ex’d overnight to me. The shipping was $83.00 plus the original $5 for the ‘item’. When it arrived, I opened the box to find a half-dead baby chick. I followed the written instructions that came in the box and promptly added 1/4 cup orange juice and 1 cup vodka to my blender, stirred it up for 1 minute, and then dropped in the chick and set the blender to puree for 2 minutes. Shut off the blender and drank my chick. That was one expensive cock-tale.

Ah, c'mon that was funny, I don't care who you are!

Ah, c'mon that was funny, I don't care who you are!