NEW HOME REMEDIES FOR BEDBUGS

Helloooooooooooooooo!

Reported in the “Barafrican Journal”  by Jim Roon aka Randy

With the recent outbreak across the globe of the feared “amabo bedbug” we spoke to Chief Breaking Wind for guidance:  ”With  the urgency of this matter, I have had a vision, everyone must trap one of the feces covered gerbils and place 6 to seven in their homes.
Once you have the international harvesters in place, the next step is most urgent. Find someone with scabies and infect yourself, then smear the amabo-snot all over yourself.  Amabo-snot may be found oozing from the the side of the Ickypoopoo volcano”.  He continued,  ”During this next week you must eat 66 bulls balls from Williams AZ, also known as the toilet of the USA”.  He went on, “When you defecate, place the turds in the sealed boxes and forward them to the satan box 666 in Williams Arizona so that the festering, goat-humping saller donutman can eat them”.

Let's all play "Where's Sayleer?"!

While this seems odd to me, the Chief has always given sound advice.  This will work to exterminate bedbugs.

Editor’s note: Thanks Jim for another great submission.  I spoke with an extermination expert who recommended ‘Bedlam’. Just ask for it by name at your local home improvement center. Be sure to follow the package directions carefully.–Ian AL Simers, head honcho :)

Stand back, I am a professional!

Bedlam, it's what is waiting for them!

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26 Responses to “NEW HOME REMEDIES FOR BEDBUGS”

  1. Gary Bubblers Says:

    Now y’all bee kareful with dis stuff, I got a bit on my toe,(the one with the festering ingrown toenail) and it melted that booger right off…. ma made vittles with it.. mmmm

  2. Gary Bubblers Says:

    thank y’all for all this reel guuud stuff to leaarnin.. only newz i reed

  3. Gary Bubblers Says:

    Sumday i hope to be like randee

  4. Gary Bubblers Says:

    shure duz like too. Ma is got a leekinpoo bag

  5. Gary Bubblers Says:

    I duzzint be sayin no bad sheet bout grace??

  6. Gary Bubblers Says:

    okee, here we go, mable is getten a reel guud srewin from gramps, she outa drop al litter reel sooon

  7. Gary Bubblers Says:

    Ian, just dis mornin ma chooped up some duck guts and scrambled dem with thebull eggs. mmm mmm

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    • iamneutered Says:

      Excuse me, but I have a job. I guess you are doing your Laura Schelshinger ‘work at home’ crap. Gosh, don’t you feel a sense of accomplishment?
      IAN Al Simers
      Head honcho :)

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    • iamneutered Says:

      Oh why can’t you put the Penthouse down for at least one minute. You are not even making sense. You must be full of bedbug bites. Their saliva has contaminated your blood.
      You are UNCLEAN!
      IAN Al Simers :)
      head honcho

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  11. tvegmewogne Says:

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